Learn Simon’s Simple Exercise for Finding Your WHY
Our founder and Chief Optimist, Simon Sinek, author of the bestselling book “Find Your WHY,” defines your “WHY” as the contribution you make to the world. It encompasses both your professional and personal purpose. According to Simon, it is a reflection of who we are as individuals. When Simon discovered his own WHY, it became a lens through which he viewed the world, influencing his decision-making and transforming his life. He jokingly adds, “I’m still the same idiot I was before, but I learned how to start with why and live my life with purpose.”
If you’re interested in how to find your purpose and uncovering your own WHY, it requires dedicated self-discovery. Simon can assist you in this process through our on-demand video course, “Find Your WHY.” (You can learn more about it here.) However, there is a simple way to begin by exploring your WHY on your own. It only takes a few minutes of your time and a conversation with a close friend.
Simon advises against doing this exercise with a spouse or family member, as those relationships are often too close and may not provide an objective perspective. By engaging with a trusted friend, you can gain fresh insights and an expert perspective on your journey to finding your purpose.
To begin, sit down with one of your closest friends and pose a single question to them: “Why are we friends?”
As they grapple for the right words, you will need to encourage them to delve deeper. Explain that this is an exercise aimed at gaining self-awareness, and it’s crucial that they collaborate with you to answer the question.
Typically, your friend will start by using common clichés to describe your friendship, such as “you’re always there” or “I can trust you.” You will need to push them to dig deeper. Simon explains, “You’ll have to challenge them and play devil’s advocate because phrases like that only scratch the surface of what defines a friend.” So, push further by asking, “What specific qualities or actions about me make you confident that you would support me unconditionally?”
They may continue to express uncertainty, saying things like, “I don’t know. This is a difficult question.” In these moments, allow them to keep talking. Maintain silence, actively listen, and above all, let them struggle to find the right words. It may seem like they are going in circles, but keep listening attentively.
Eventually, they will begin to describe themselves. Their sentences will start with phrases like “I feel…”, “You make me feel…”, and “When I’m around you, I feel…”
If the right words are spoken, you will experience an emotional response. You may feel goosebumps or become teary-eyed because they are articulating the value you hold in their lives. This emotional reaction serves as an indicator. As Simon explains, “This is when you realize that you’re in your element, and you’re now getting closer to understanding your WHY.”